Waiting For The Other Shoe To...

Currently I’m in limbo. I’m in-between. Holding my breath. At least when it comes to a number of things. We signed a contract for our home and now we have to find ours. After the flurry of last weeks work, this week was thankfully a little slower writing-wise, but I’m waiting on some news. And then there is stuff going on at my day job that may be a turning point for the program, that will determine the scope of my job from now on.

And in all these situations I have to wait. It’s not that joyful expectation, it’s more like a pause. Quiet and pregnant with uncertainty. There’s a part of me that just wants to sit in this quiet and take it in. There are other parts of me that are uneasy and anxious. Actually the majority of me.

I want something to make a move, or for the shoe to drop. I’ve always disliked the parts of my life that were under the control of other people. I dislike having to wait for someone to do something. I hold myself to a certain standard of control, and for that to taken away is aggravating.

To assuage some of this anxiety, I plug away at little things. I work on other publications, and today, I start packing up my home. Little things I can do and control. Then I spend endless hours making contingency plans in my head. “If this… then that, or that.” Endless combinations on variables I can’t fully predict. Somehow I suspect that nothing will come out as expected.

The other thing I get to do is roll through AITA on reddit. That’s what I like to call a “coping mechanism”.

See you on the flip side amigxs. 

    -La Queta

Want more about how Neurotic I am? Check out “I Still Don’t Know How To Be A Writer.”