How Did You Get Here? (Nobody's Supposed To Be Here)
I have a very complex last name. It’s one that I refuse to shorten or change or move to a nom de plume. That’s for a couple of reasons.
I’m very lazy. The idea of legally changing my name and spending time at the Social Security Office, DMV, & on the phone to change things sounded like hell.
Never really believed in changing my name. It’s mostly an archaic, American thing that isn’t worth the time in my opinion, but you do you.
Most importantly. My name is on a castle.
No. Really. One of my ancestors had a castle in northern Spain. El Palacio de Soñanes which is currently a hotel. It’s got my last name on the stonework and everything, apparently.
One of these days I plan to march up with a trebuchet and a small (but mighty!) army to retake my birthright.
It is my fervent opinion that if you have a castle in your name, you should not change your name.
That is, unless your ancestors did something supremely unsavory, then, by all means. Give up the castle and all that.
But because I have a difficult and rare last name, I figured people wouldn’t really find me. I figured that I would mostly have to hustle around people I know and screaming things out into the void of social media so you can buy my books so that one day I can afford to regularly get extra guac at Chipotle.
For the most part, that’s been true.
These past few weeks I’ve been remaking this website properly in my image, updating algorithms, SEO, links, ads, ect. I also got part of my royalty report for the last four months of last year from the publisher today. And after looking at all those data points I have just one conclusion:
?????????
For some reason, some of you, many of you strangers, have found me. And it’s a bit weird?
For one, a lot of my sales (in particular physical copies of Mask of The Nobleman) sold really well in the UK. Like, more than the total number of copies in the US and Canada combined.
I sent one physical copy, to one reviewer in the UK late last year. That… does not explain this?
I mean, THANK YOU, but also, how did you find this book? It could be a fluke of algorithms or something that the publisher is doing, it’s just unexpected. Similar in how MONSTROSITY had a surprise uptick in the Philippines. It’s nice, just surprising because you don’t really expect people outside of your very extended circle to pick up a copy of your work in any instance.
Then there’s this website.
I keep up on my search position in google. It’s important to google-yourself every once in a while, and healthy even! I wanna know what people find when my name comes up.
My website isn’t even in the top 3 pages. This place. This place right here which you oh-so-accidently stumbled on through social media or wherever, isn’t in the top 30 searches for the most part.
And yet….
To quote Deborah Cox:
How did you get here? Nobody’s supposed to be here.
A few of you stumbled on my blog because the title of one of my blog entries is a parody of a Beyoncé song. I apologize for those that did. If you came here expecting Beyoncé and got… me, then the disappointment must have been crushing.
Let me also pre-emptively apologize to any Deborah Cox fans who came here looking for powerhouse vocals and instead got a writer whining about algorithms.
That must also be a huge letdown. Mea culpa.
Otherwise, my sparse “about me” page is my most trafficked page. That comparison includes my “linking” page, which is the default on my social media. And even my home page on some days. I too like to learn about the writers I’m reading. But rather than going from my “about me” to my works, a chunk of you jump up onto this blog.
Why?
I like my blog, but I am also deeply aware that I am a very boring person. Today’s highlight is that I experimented a bit with the marinara sauce I prepped for our ravioli dinner. The fictional shit I write about is much more interesting and fascinating than I will ever be. But it’s nice of you to take interest in this dull life I’m living.
Anyway, thank you to the strangers that have stumbled onto whatever I’m doing. Wasn’t expecting it, but it’s nice that you’re here.
And please, keep doing it! I really like that extra guac.
See you on the flip side amigxs.
-La Queta
If you want to read more about castles, check out MASK OF THE NOBLEMAN.