Itches
Around Sunday last week, a peculiar thing began to happen…
I’m sure that sounds like the beginning to something wondrous and adventurous. It is neither of those things.
Around Sunday night last week, I began to itch. Everywhere.
Yes. Everywhere.
It started at my stomach and moved outward into my armpits, groin, feet, scalp. Even my ears itch. Everything just itches. And I have been itching everywhere, scratching everywhere, for days.
After process of elimination we have determined this nightmare itchiness that I would only wish on my worst enemy (you know who you are) is most likely one of two things:
A bug bite. (which can cause allergies for up to a month after depending on the allergy).
Over-showering
The bug bite needs no explanation, except for the fact that any rash I have is mild and moving. I’m sure there is some confusion over the second bit. This has happened to me before though, As a kid I broke out into full-body rashes from spending too long in the shower. But in my defense, how else was I supposed to sing the entirety of Jagged Little Pill in one go?
Since we are stuck at home, I have been using showering and extra-attentive hygiene to bookend and create a sense of structure to my day. I shower in the morning. do my morning face routine. Brush my teeth the full two minutes. Put on sweatpants and start my day.
At night I shower again. Do my nighttime face routines (about 6 steps). Brush my teeth. Floss. Brush again.
Touch me and my skin squeaks. Perhaps my skin, now devoid of it’s oils and stripped of its layers and revolted in this torturous itch. The bastard.
Or it could be a bug bite.
Either way, we are flinging every home and pharmacy remedy. Antihistamines which so far only knock me out for a time. But if I’m sleeping, I’m not itching. Topical analgesics.
Vicks. (of course I put Vapurub on it.)
Then came the oatmeal bath. This came by recommendation of my doctor in college after I had a hellish reaction to too much soy.
So I endeavored to make my own oatmeal bath. For that, you grind up oatmeal into a fine powder and add it to lukewarm to warm bathwater. You can also add things like almond milk, but at that point I worried I would turn into a bugs bunny cartoon and just start slicing up some bananas in the me-oatmeal bath.
I did add a little coco butter though, because I like oatmeal topped with a bit of butter.
After you soak, you’re not supposed to dry off completely, just sort of, pat yourself.
But let me tell you it is most unpleasant trying to get breakfast cereal out of my nooks and crannies.
Afterward, DJ helped me slather on a thick (and I mean thick) layer of cocobutter everywhere, and then dressed in loose pajamas. So that night I was a greased-up sausage person with cotton and synthetic fabric sticking to my coco-buttered self in the Florida heat. Pleasant.
It took until the next day for it to full absorb, and let me say, after all the grain and butter work, my skin is super smooth and tight. It it lustrous and youthful, sleek as linoleum.
But it still itches.
See you on the flip side amigxs.
-La Queta
Want more on skin? Check out Morbid, Part 3: Skin and Body Hair.